july ten twenty-nineteen
This was me on top of the Gungal Rock at Mt. Ulap. It was so high I remember myself really nervous, and my feet felt like they're freezing due to the height and the fact that for just 10 seconds of being stupid, I might fall for how many meters above sea levels. But I thought that time, if I won't do it this time, when? That was weeks ago, and it's exactly what I'm questioning myself right now. If I do not focus on my family right now, when? If I do not do good in my job right now, when? And if I do not care for myself to heal from all the negativities around me, when? I'm writing this because there really are times when I find it hard to focus on my family, care for my job, and care for myself all at the same time. No matter what I do, everything just seems to be out-of-balanced and I always end up blaming myself for not being good enough to be good at everything I do. And if I won't take actions to balance all those, when will I be at peace