Bathroom Door

You peek from the inside of the bathroom door

You wandered your eyes to see

who knocked, until you lower down your sight

And saw me, with my milk bottle

now lying on the green rag underneath the door.

You smiled and pinched my nose

You pick me up then carry me inside

Our laughs echoed the bathroom as

we splashed water to each other.

. . .

You peek from the outside of the door as I struggle putting off my pajama

My short legs cannot even reach the lid of the toilet bowl

You laughed and messed up my hair

“Let me carry you up, honey!”

I let you carry me up,

wait for you to leave me but

you stayed, and sing to me instead

A song that you also sang to my sisters every bathroom time.

. . .

You knocked on the door

Twice... thrice … a couple of hurrying knocks

and repeatedly calling my name

You pushed the door and went inside

when I didn’t answer.

I quickly hid the fabric on my back then

heaved a nervous, “Ma…”

. .

You threw me a teasing look then pinched my cheeks.

We talked inside the bathroom as I’m washing the cloth

You told me it’s only normal for girls like me

and I believe you.

You told me to put extra love for myself now that I’m older

and be careful not to fall without looking.

. . .

You knocked on the door

for a hundred times since I went inside.

I’m being wary for you to not hear a single cry

You stopped calling and everything becomes silent.

I felt alone.

Sure, it’s true that heartaches are unbearable.

The door went open.

You stormed inside then hugged me

You simply knew everything co’z you’re my mother

and you knew me by heart.

. . .

Now there are no more knocks on the bathroom door

But I’m here. Again.

But, alone.

If you were still here,

there will be echoes of laughter not sobs.

If you were still here,

I probably wouldn’t be able to carry myself

up

and hanged

my ---.